When I was planning our wedding, I felt like two phrases carried a lot of weight. I can’t tell you how many times I read or heard “well you wouldn’t want to regret not having it or doing it” or “it’s only one day, might as well go all out”. I was really worried that in making our low-key relaxed wedding a reality, I was going to end up full of regret. However, in a turn of events that was surprising to no one, following what I actually wanted and leaving behind what I didn’t left me happy and with zero regrets. Break the rules, have whatever kind of wedding you want! Traditional big celebration? Go for it! Elope? Great! Small destination wedding? Have at it! For anyone wondering what traditions we skipped, here is the low down:
Engagement photos: How many photos of yourselves are you actually going to frame? We figured we would have lots of photos from the wedding, lots from our past, and more to come in the future! My husband hates posing for photos and I had no strong feelings (I suspected the only reason I even thought about them was because everyone seems to do them, not that I actually wanted them) so we didn’t bother with this. No regrets and we saved some serious $$, time, and scheduling stress.
Save the dates: If you are like us and had a small-ish wedding (family and close friends only) we just texted/emailed/told the people who we knew we were inviting what date we had selected ahead of time. Nobody seemed to mind or miss the piece of paper at all!
Formal dress code: I just wanted everyone (including myself and my husband) to be comfortable and have fun! I told my uncle (who is notoriously is hot ALL the time) that he could wear nice shorts and a short sleeve button up if he wanted. That’s what he did, he had a blast, and closed down the dance floor with us! I walked down the aisle barefoot and had verging on orthopedic sandals to wear the rest of the time. I loved them and still wear them all the time!
Videographer: Again, for some people this may be a must have. But to me, when am I going to sit down and enjoy this? Maybe when I first get it? Show some family members? Then it will likely go largely unwatched. Especially with phones these days, friends were able to catch some videos on the dance floor and later that night that we watched the day after and that was about it. In my opinion it was more worthwhile to just hire a good photographer.
Garter: If you are comfortable doing this, all the power to you! However, the idea of this was literally my husband and my worst nightmare. First, I didn’t want to wear it since it looks uncomfortable (Chafy? Itchy? All the above?). Second, I’m pretty sure my family did not miss watching my husband go between my legs – awkward AF!
Bridal party entrance: Since we just had our siblings stand up with us there was no need to introduce our “bridal party”. Again we were more comfortable not having everyone stare at us and avoid a grand entrance. It also allowed us to keep chatting and mingling with people before sitting for dinner.
Cake cutting: Neither my husband or I love cake and we wanted to eliminate as many moments where we were the center of attention as possible (there were enough of those already!). I also found the night flowed better not having a big interruption for a cake cutting.
Again, these were just our preferences, I would love to know yours! What wedding traditions did you or will you skip at your wedding? What are your must-haves?